Since childhood, I haven’t been used to going and living in other people houses. Houses may not a proper term here. It’s any place like a flat, room and/or any other place. But forced to live there, I have great difficulty in getting adjusted with the people. The problem may not be the place itself, but my behavior vis-à-vis the people around. I have been living in hostel rooms and flat rooms for a long time. I am a pretty good host but can’t manage things that well when it comes to playing guest somewhere. I get all the feelings of self-consciousness and anxiety living side-by-side with the people there. I see two factors to it: One my inability to be outgoing with the people around me and secondly the feeling that it may seem wrong to behave in a certain way. This is despite all the special treatment I get in terms of special meals in my “honor” and attendant niceties observed by the hosts. The boredom syndrome perturbs me even when i visit or worse still stay at the homes of my relatives however close they might be.Sometimes i wonder it is too thankless to think that way when the hosts are putting up a good show of hospitality. The problem lies inside me and not the inside in most cases.
Well the only exception to this feeling comes when I visit the places of some of my informal/old friends. I can move around feeling and get clothes tugged anywhere; leave the socks around and/or do whatever I like. Hence another possible reason may be the level of informality one enjoys in any place. Feeling claustrophobic in one place and feeling like a flying bird in the other place by the same individual means that despite all the outer niceties its necessary that an individual feels home inside in any place.
